16.7.09

By The Way

Summer is here, vacations are starting for some just now, for others already started..
For me, it started right after the exams. ‘Cause, most of the time, the sign I get that the summer holidays are really here is the distance that separates people. That distance, for me, leads to exhausting reflections moments. Every summer I end up with some conclusions that I don’t like at all. Every summer I finally understand some stuff I didn’t want to see or understand before. It’s frustating!


Middle of the summer and I already found myself capable of trying to get things right once again. And, by the way, everytime I tried to give a step forward, a second later I would start calling myself names because deep down I knew that what I was doing wasn’t necessary or that shouldn’t have be me all the times.
I’m frustated that I’m finding the truth about some relationships, about people value and about what should and should not be.


Maybe this Summer will be more calm, at least the second part of it, because it’s middle of the Summer and I think I had conclusions enough, conclusions which I thought about… ALOT!
So yeah, I’m not fine! I don’t like to understand how some stuff really are, just to discover that I’ve been fooling myself all this time in hope of achieving some kind of happiness in an imaginary world. I can’t give more of my person to the others, not more of what I’m already giving. I can’t always be giving the first step and trying to lead things in a better way, I can’t always be the one to organize everything, the one who has to think in a racional way so things can be done. So, please stop! I need some time for my own person.


That’s why I promise to myself that I’ll change this Summer. For good or for bad? I believe that depends on each person view. All I know is that sometimes we need to change ourselves a little bit, not for the others pleasure, but for our own good and self-estime.


2 comments:

  1. Bem Marta não fazia ideia q tbm andavas por estas bandas do blog :) Obrigada pelos comentários e comenta sempre q quiseres.

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  2. This is your life, you're living it for you, no one else. So yeah, you should change. . . for yourself. Who cares how you turn out? You shouldn't ALWAYS be at everyones beck and call. Change. That's what's great about life and what makes it worth living. Change.

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