Sometimes we make ourselves blind in order not to see what we know it's there. We try to trick ourselves so we can deny reality for a little more. For a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year...
We need that blindness for a little. It's the only time we have to get the strength needed.
And I needed that time. I needed almost 19 years to allow myself to see the reality.
I don't want to be exactly like you. I don't want to be so open-minded for some stuff and yet so close-minded for others. I want to be able to protect myself like you do but at the same time I want to keep the innocence of a child inside me. I want to look at some stuff like a kid does and always find the positive thing about it. Even when that demonstrates that I'm being naive. I want to do good stuff for other people. I want to help the others without second intentions or thinking about a possible consequence of the act. If I'm good at something and if that will help someone I want to participate with what I have. I don't want to be good at something and then brag myself to everyone like I'm the best because I will never be the best. I will always learn something more. I will always discover something new. I'm never gonna allow myself to impose my ideas to others. I don't want to talk to the others like I'm the one who knows and that if they don't listen me they are just dumbs who are walking around this world. I don't! I won't!
I don't want to be like you. I want to be me. Even if it took almost 19 years to say it out loud to myself, this is what I'm gonna do. Little by little.. this is who I am.