24.5.10

On Your Own

We born alone, grow up and live alone, and die alone. That's what I read from time to time.

I don't know who said that for the first time and what were the arguments but every now and then I found myself debating that same idea inside my head.

How many times have any of you felt that you were doing all the things by your own? Without support, help or partners... Being by your own it's not live alone just because you're single and you no longer live under the same roof as your parents. Being on your own it's when you don't have anyone else to count on.

I hate that idea. I like to please people. It's true. Some have already said that I'm a cold person but the truth it's that I help the others in every possible way. Sometimes even when I'm mad at that person. I try to please everyone with little gestures just because I want to. Not because of some future rewarding. That's just who I am.
But then.. then I found myself sitting and living in my own little world, just thinking. I think if there's someone like that around me, on my group of friends. I found myself thinking about who I can count on. I try to understand who's nice enough to support me, who's not gonna be tearing me down all the time.

The sad part of all this? It's when you really come to conclusion that you may be really alone, on your own. Not necessarily for your entire life but in that moment, that period. It's a hard thing to admit and to assimilate as well. Especially... especially when you feel that the people who were supposed to support you more and give you the strength to pursue your dreams are the same people that have been tearing you down more than usual and not giving you a chance to show your value.

So, no. I'm not sure if I have someone behind me like a guardian angel or if I'm just living on my own...

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